Kisah Give Up

 1. Masuk tahun ke 3 to 4, xtau apa jadi, aku rasa stress dgn study. 

2. Bukan tak perform (overall grade CGPA cemerlang), tapi i guess waktu tu, suasana tu, semua org bakal/akan lalui.

3. Ada masa aku call student advisor waktu tu, tanya soalan kalau saya quit apa penalty. Advisor waktu tu alhamdulillah melayan... moga Allah rahmati beliau.

4. Antara penguat semangat waktu tu, cerita flash back masa darjah 6. Ayah aku bawak taxi part time. Abis class, aku akan lepak dekat kantin sampai asar sambil ulang kaji.

5. Dlm pukul 5, abah bawa aku naik van angkut ambil orang utk hantar, ulang alik sampai maghrib, baru balik.

6. Kadang rasa penat, kadang rasa malu bila ada orang kurang ajar dgn driver (abah). Begitulah kehidupan... abah aku cakap.

7. Akhirnya, berbekalkan kehidupan lalu, tambah kawan-kawan yg supportive, tamat juga pelajaran 4 tahun.

Begitulah kehidupan.

Question...

 1. Ada satu ketika, waktu buat sharing session dgn students uni, mereka tanya kenapa kerja offshore gaji sedikit tinggi?

1. Aku cuba bagi faham, kerja mana-mana pun, kalau dia melibatkan kecerdasan akal, faktor keselamatan tinggi, dan faktor supply-demand, selalunya akan mendapat bayaran yang lumayan.

1. Soalan yang patut di tanya adalah; Layakkah anda? Sanggupkah anda? Komited kah anda? Consistent kah anda?

Ramai orang jawab tidak even pada soalan pertama. Sgt sikit berjaya sampai soalan terakhir...

Jemputan Mengajar

 1. Kadang-kadang, pergi mengajar dekat uni. Menarik!

2. Bila jumpa students luar negara, jumpa students local, ada yang pernah berkerja, ada yang sambil berkerja, ada yang tak pernah berkerja.

3. Ada soalan yang diajukan berkisar tentang teknikal, ada yang berkisar tentang personal. Layankan aja...

4. Paling payah pernah ditanya, apa pendapat encik tentang sambung belajar PhD?

"Saya tak boleh nak jawab tu, sebab saya pun tak ada PhD."

Dia insist juga... Abis kelas dia tunggu. Tanya soalan sama.

"Setahu saya, PhD ni bagus sebab latihan PhD ni ajar kita utk extract maklumat drp open sources, tapis yg mana baik dan buruk, dan usulkan pendapat kita sendiri dengan bukti yang kita jumpa menerusi tulisan kita sendiri."

Dia suh aku bagi tahu keburukan PhD pula. Dia insisted.

"Saya pernah dgr kawan saya bagi tau saya, dalam cerita super heroes, majority penjahat ada PhD. Yang heroes semua either degree atau master sahaja."

Dah anda meminta sgt, saya bagi je...

Makanan

 1. Dulu masa ada events dekat sekolah, aku cukup segan bila mana akhir events, abah aku mtk makanan lebih dengan petugas. Petugas bagi je sebab selalu makanan byk lebih. Seingat aku, takde pulak aku nampak dia makan makanan tu.

2. Bila dewasa, aku rasa aku dah faham. Rasa bersalah pada abah aku, pada masa yg sama aku bangga pada isteri aku, lol.

3. Amik contoh, few days back ada hari sukan dekat sekolah. Dah anak-anak penat main sukan, masa nak balik tu, wife aku dah start tanya nak masak apa or makan mana.

4. Aku dah rancang awal. Setapak aku masuk dalam event, aku dah pasang mata tengok makanan apa yg organizer bagi.

5. Abis event, kami pelan-pelan menapak keluar. Byk makanan tak abis, organizer letak atas meja; burger, air kotak dan roti. Aku amik je lah.

6. Sampai rumah, dgn bangangnya, I mean bangga-nya; "Xyah masak kin, anak-anak makan yang ni".
Lol.

Setel makanan anak-anak...

Saya bantah...

 1. Satu masa dulu, kami makan dekat mall ni. Nampak satu pasangan ni, age around 70-80 masuk dan makan meja hujung.

2. Nampak husband dia melayan order, sambil ckp dgn isteri dia. Isteri dia jelas sakit, dengan ada wayar dekat muka, xbercakap sepatah, mata pandangan kosong.

3. Aku ckp dekat cashier, apa yg mereka makan aku belanja. Tapi jgn cakap. Sebab org ramai, aku yakin takkan pecah rahsia.

4. Selang seketika, terkejut aku pakcik tu sebelah aku. Ucap terima kasih dan ajak borak. Aku blurr, kaget, layan sambil senyum. Selalu xpernah kantoi, tapi kali ni hampeh...

5. Upon perbualan, I figured pakcik a renowned lawyer dalam Malaysia (patutlah cashier tu kalah).

Isteri sakit stroke (multiple). Key leaders juga dalam telekom zaman heyday mereka. Mereka berdua above 80. 

Once in a while mereka keluar utk makan sesambil jalan jalan 

6. Aku nampak makcik tu pandang aku masa husband dia cakap orang muda ni belanja kita. Muka dia kosong, tak bercakap, tapi hujung bibir dia senyum (stroke). Bidding goodbye, pakcik tu cakap 'Good to know you'...

Aku replied 

"Good to see old people, eh, I mean good to be old, eh..." aku gabra dah.

'I know you meant well'...

Kali ni makcik tu senyum bibir kedua-dua belah... 

7. Secara tak langsung aku berjaya melawak dgn org stroke... kebanggaan hidup aku tu.

Freedom

 Freedom...

1. When I was at boarding schools (SMACH - KMB), I was introduced to a new concept of managing my own time.

2. There was a sort of SOP, but the lines were blurry; something you had to redraw yourself. Yet, you still had guidance from both sides, good and bad, where teachers were there to remind you when you went astray.

3. The first ultimate test was when I stepped into college life. I owned and managed 100% of my time.

Like the quote, “To be, or not to be…” Attending classes, waking up in the mornings, reading, working, sleeping. I had to set my own rules and discipline. I improved a lot along the way. Without previous training, I would have surely failed.

4. The second test was when I first started working. I rented a room with a total stranger. Working, playing, sleeping, sick time vs. holidays; pure self-reliance.

5. Life after marriage and having kids is slightly different; this time you manage yourself while also planning for your dependents.

6. One of the biggest challenges I can recall is that there were times when I felt very quiet and monotonous. 

"You are alone even when you are not"...

Crying and sobbing were part of it. But life goes on… just keep doing things with discipline.

“And when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and nobody waits for you at night, and you can do whatever you want… what do you call it—freedom or loneliness?”

Life Before Death

 

Life Before Death

1. A couple of months back, there were changes in my work that completely changed my routines.

2. Until last week, I thought I had a throat infection that caused me to lose my voice, and later my left eye vision became blurry.

3. Allah moved my heart to seek help from a family clinic. After two days, the symptoms did not improve. On the way to work, Allah made me detour to a hospital, where I sought help for my blurry vision.

4. During the investigation and diagnosis, my BP slowly spiked to a dangerously high level. I immediately lost consciousness.

5. Alhamdulillah, it happened while I was being assessed by a consultant (a very well experienced doctor). I was rushed to the ED and later admitted to the ICU.

6. Things were blurry, but I remember being in the “donut” for CT, MRI, echocardiogram with bubble contrast, and other tests.

7. After proper treatment and three days in ICU, I was transferred to the normal ward, and now I am heading home sweet home.

8. What an experience. So many worse things could have happened; The BP could have spiked while I was sleeping, riding, or working, but it happened while I was speaking to a doctor, at the best hospital.

"Which of the favors of your Lord would you deny?" (55:13)

Alhamdulillah ‘ala kulli hal.