Pantun 4 kerat

Memancing ikan naik perahu,
Itulah ragam anak sulung,
Jangan kata dia tak tahu,
Kerbau binatang tanduk di hidung...
(Dia mmg tak tahu)...

Tragedy Maryam

1. Sewaktu suspek sedang menggunakan Netflix secara separa haram (sebab dah inform), isteri suspek tetiba cakap rasa lain macam. Isteri suspek confirmed air dah pecah.

2. Suspek bergegas hantar isteri ke HKL selepas menghantar anak suspek ke pengasuh.

3. Doktor mengesahkan bukaan rahim masih 3cm, so warded di HKL dahulu. Jalan akan di check semula kol 10 am nnt.

4. Doktor memberitahu doktor bahawa by 245pm akan di induce jika keadaan memerlukan.

5. Suspek balik tido semenjak lepas subuh tadi, dan baru tersedar. Suspek sedang bersiap utk ke HKL semula.

6. Kol 10 isteri suspek telah diperiksa oleh pakar, bukaan makin besar menjadi 4 to 5 cm dan kedudukan bayi makin merendah. Akan tetapi, pukul 215, tiada tanda tanda menyebabkan isteri suspek makan 3 ketul ayam dan satu scones Texas chicken. Suspek melihat dengan penuh kehairanan.

Akan di laporkan semula. Semoga kawan kawan suspek mendoakan isteri suspek di permudahkan urusan bersalin dan sihat kedua duanya, isteri suspek dan anak anak suspek

Tully 2018

Tully 2018

1. It is a movie about depression. Bak kata pepatah, hanya jauhari mengenal manikam.

2. One must know when to say stop, ask for help or quit when had enough. Or else, you will get the unwanted help.

3. Kerja rumah tangga adalah tanggung jawab both suami isteri. If salah satu ponteng, bahana menanti.

Masa Depan yg Uncertain

1. One of the biggest fear that I have is, kalau aku mati masa jaga anak-anak, what will happen to them?

2. I am not talking about in the future, tapi dalam masa 8 jam, sebelum my wife coming back from her shift. I used to have this thought masa jaga Aisyah dulu, tapi selepas Aisyah besar, alhamdulillah, umur den masih panjang. Skang, this thought is coming back, sebab ada little Maryam pulak.

3. So far, I manage to teach Aisyah bukak peti dan cari makanan, buang air sendiri dalam toilet, amik air minum drp water container, just in case something happens. Kalau boring sgt, bukak channel 611 (kids channel). So far, she manages that.

4. And for Maryam, so far aku hanya berjaya ajar Aisyah bagi puting pada adik kalau adik nangis. Bonus point is, utk angkat phone kalau sapa sapa call. Lama jugak ni, kalau berlaku apa apa, jenuh nak tunggu mama balik (Nauzubillahi min zalik).

5. I used to tell my wife 4 years ago, on this concern. Actually, she had the same thought, but from her side; what if she died while driving back home, tapi anak sakit dan I am still waiting for her? Waktu tu, we only had 1 small car? For that reason, I bought another small car for us! Lol.

Semoga Allah memudahkan urusan kami.
...But they plan, and Allah plans. And Allah is the best of planners. (8:30)

Drama Pukul 5

I was on my way going back home. It started to rain and I had a pit-stop to put on the raincoat.
There was a couple with 3 kids. They stopped as well. Only was their stop was a long pause.
The first two kids were around 4 to 5 y.o. , they were playing around, counting the motorcycles, sebijik mcm Aisyah. The youngest was around 2 y.o., sleeping in the mom's cuddle. Sebijik macam Maryam.

Kids, I was once in your position. May Allah bless you all.

Damn it, air hujan masuk mata! Byk pulak tu

PP

Kerja Petrophysicist adalah antara kerjaya yang mendekatkan diri pada Allah...

1. Waktu nak start interprete a well; Ya Allah, aku tak tahu...

2. Lepas interprete; Alhamdulillah. ..

3. Bila kene ubah dan reinterprete balik; Ya Allah!!!

The cycles repeat...lol

Puasa vs. Ground Floor

Rumah aku ground floor.
Sewaktu menyuap nasi pada anak, atas katil, lalu sorang kawan Aisyah dan mak dia belakang rumah.
Dia toleh, lalu berkata; Mak, pakcik tu xpuasa!"

Mak dia toleh, dan jalan cepat cepat...
Even though unnecessary, aku cakap jugak; Aisyah punya laa!
Dari jauh aku nampak mak dia gelak dan anggukkan kepala..

Kureng asammm...lol

Adik Bongsu Kene Buli???

1. Kita selalu dengar, somewhere, akan ada desas-desus adik bongsu (yang masih muda) mengomel, setiap raya, asyik aku je kene kemas rumah, asyik aku je kene marah, di mana kebebasan nak raya, nak jalan, nak main, di mana?
Lol...

2. Selaku anak no. 2 daripada 9 adik beradik, yang mana beza umur 10 tahun dengan yang bawah, I would like to share with you my story...listen carefully

3. When I was young, I was doing the chores, exactly sama apa yang ente buat. That time, you were playing with your friends, too small utk sapu rumah, masak nasi, angkat air, panjat tangga nak sapu sawang. Kami la yang buat. Masa tu lagi teruk, mak dan ayah masih muda, pengalaman dan tenaga masih tip-top. Pantang salah, diorang tahu mana nak libas dengan tepat!

4. Bila dah meniti dewasa ni, bukan xnak buat, tapi nak kene layan anak sendiri, serta nak layan tetamu datang. Maklumla, mak dan ayah dah tua. Sapa lagi yang kenal kenalan parents, kalau bukan kami :)
Hehehehehe...

P/s: Tapi, kalau abang-kakak sulung ni memang jenis malas azali, xyah sembang la, mohon meninggal

Boring boring, aku bertekak

Kebosanan duk rumah jaga anak-anak, bini kerja, aku layan cerita kartun ngn Aisyah. I started to realise few things:

1. Cerita upin ipin tidak dinyatakan negeri mana, tapi aku rasa Terengganu. Sebab plate motor Tok Dalang no.T####.

2. Nobita ni patut di cerca, sebab malas gila nak baca buku atau buat kerja sekolah. Sedangkan yang nakal dan jahat mcm Suneo dan Giant pon buat kerja sekolah, tapi yang selalu kene denda adalah Nobita.

3. Si Boboiboy and the gang ni xsekolah ke? Mengembara satu galaksi kononnya selamat kan dunia. Lagi satu, mak bapak boboiboy bergaduh dengan Tok Abah ke? Xpernah balik kampung, hantar boboiboy pon guna keretaapi je.

4. Plankton mmg truly genius sekecik kecik dan miskin dia, boleh buat super komputer utk jadi pembantu dia, nak curi Crabby Patty' secret recipe.

Aku cuba mengutarakan pendapat aku dengan Aisyah, tapi mendapat bantahan drpnya dan segala bala tentera patung-patungnya, pertengkaran pon bermula...

How stupid are we?

1. We went to cinema for a movie. Before entering, I brought Aisyah to the toilet while Maryam was with wife.

2. Walking towards the cinema, I smelled something burnt but could not figure what it was. Then, slowly but clearly, I heard Aisyah was saying; asap...while pointing.

3. It was the dustbin, just in front of our room. Some stupid/idiot threw cigarette's bud inside it was on fire already. To make it worst, nobody realised it. I reported it to PIC and he rushed in to put it out.

4. Lessons learnt are; those stupid will always be stupid. We should kill them! Second, someone must have seen the incident in the first place, he/she should have said something on sight. If there was fire, all of us will be dead! That someone is just equal to those stupid, we should kill them all!

5. There was a CCTV just above the dustbin, and I encouraged the PICs to go and check them. If done correctly, we can still catch the stupid smoker. The movie was just started. I guess there was neither no minister nor minister's kids involved, so they said they could not trace the culprit. Should we kill the PICs as well?

And the incident happened in TGV WW (bukan nama sebenar).

P/s: apalah guna belajar di sekolah asrama bertingkat-tingkat, tapi bodoh berlapis-lapis.

Genius vs. Loyar Buruk

We were reading an encyclopedia, when we saw a picture of a blue frog.
'It is a poisonous frog, we will be dead in seconds if we touch it.'...I told her.

Then she asked,
Kalau dia pegang perut dia sendiri?
Takpe, kan perut dia sendiri, dia ada ubat dia...

Kalau mama dia pegang dia?
Pon xpe, kan mama dia katak jugak...

Kalau dia gatal belakang, pastu dia suruh kawan dia garu? Kawan dia tu Meow (a cat)...
mati la kawan dia...

Congratulation...anak aku officially loyar buruk jugak...

1001 Arabian Nights

1. There was an old man selling hardware and his nickname was ###-bodoh (seriously, that's what they called him). For the first time I dealt with him, he asked me, dari mana, kerja apa.
As usual, I used layman's term (xramai paham kerja aku ni); Dari KL, kerja kaji batu. Then he continued dengan term Geoscience, JV between Petronas dengan Canada di pergunungan BC, Argentina dan Iraq. Aku kaget!!!
Niat asal nak beli kipas dan blah berakhir dengan perbualan ilmiah...in summary, he was a teacher, got retired and spent his time reading while waiting for customers.
Others called him ###-bodoh sebab topic perbualan dia xdipahami oleh masyarakat setempat.

2. Ada sorang makcik claimed dah lama duduk hospital dek tekanan darah tinggi x turun turun. Selepas berminggu, ada 'orang' cadangkan makan 'daun' dan tekanan darah dia turun. Seribu pujian diungkapkan kepada daun tersebut. Me being me, aku mmg suka ni, hahahaha; makcik tak rasa ke itu adalah kesan ubat dan diet yang sihat sepanjang berminggu makcik duk hospital? Situasi berakhir dengan makcik quote kisah lain lagi, dan mcm biasa, aku cucuk jarum dengan kisah-kisah tersebut. Later aku dapat tahu 'orang' tersebut mati pada usia 30 an akibat penyakit darah tinggi membawa stroke...

3. Kisah di riwayatkan oleh seorang sepupu-papat doktor yang mana tgh screen pesakit kencing manis. Awal pertemuan, dia denied screening doktor, mengatakan dia bomoh diabetes. Orang ramai yg cari dia utk rawatan. Blood-glucose test di teruskan, ended up pakcik scored cemerlang, 23!

Khutbah jumaat tadi berkisar tentang nak jadikan kelantan sebagai hub ekonomi dan pengurusan kewangan terkenal di rantau. Hummm, kita kalau nak majukan kelantan ni, byk lagi langkah ni, masih jauh perjalanan. Xpe, kita mulakan dengan menyebarkan kata kata hikmah dan ilmu di kalangan masyarakat dulu (silap hari bulan nama aku jadi Fajar-bodoh).

P/s: walau'unta penulis bertekak dengan masyarakat, masuk waktu penulis tetap solat jemaah dengan masyarakat. Lol!