Kehilangan

1. Setiap orang, akan merasai kematian orang tersayang (parents). Janji Allah itu pasti. 

“Every soul shall have a taste of death, in the end to Us shall ye be brought back” (29:57). 

Well, mungkin tak semua, kalau anda mati dulu.

2. Pengalaman setiap orang berbeza.

3. For me, I was on the phone dengan adik, where I was guiding my sister to give ‘a do-not-resuscitate order’ if anything happened. My dad had been sick and bedridden for many years. After discussing with friends (specialist doctors), siblings and mother, that was the best decision at that time. A painful and difficult choice! 

4. Masa tu, aku dengar bunyi mesin beeping panjang, suasana jadi kalut, and short after, adik aku informed he passed away. Aku buat perancangan dan bergegas balik (masa tu PKP, byk SOP kene follow).

5. Bila balik, uruskan apa yang patut sampai jasad ditanam. Honestly speaking, aku tak menangis. Rasa kosong! Rasa mcm perasaan hari pertama aku duduk asrama, waktu Maghrib. 

However, the bills come due!

6. Di tempat kerja, aku jadi easily stress. Rasa menyampah dengan semua orang. Waktu tu juga kene prostate infection pulak. Ulang-alik hospital. Doctor nak warded, tapi aku sign AOR form (kene jaga anak-anak).

7. Every day, aku question diri aku, kenapa aku masih stay kerja, kalau dah tak happy. Should I proceed with the mundane routines? At what cost? Waktu tu, aku dah start to cairkan savings aku, letak dekat satu bank. I am ready! 

8. Before that, I took few steps. First, aku discuss dgn immediate supervisor aku. Hikmah berbincang, orang nampak apa yang kita tak. Waktu discussions, I realized that he also went through the same situations 5 years ago. Dia tak halang keputusan, tapi dia bagi tahu apa yg dia lalui untuk aku relate to myself.

9. I also contacted psychiatrist and psychologist. Kebetulan waktu pkp hari tu, ramai staffs alami depression. So, company kami sediakan perkhidmatan bantuan utk staffs. Mengikut pakar, aku sedang mengalami satu situasi yang dipanggil shock and grieving! PKP, ayah mati, sakit dan depression. Mereka bagi nasihat, there is no right or wrong decisions, tapi elakkan make a big decision during this time. Postponed them. They said, selalukan bercerita dan berbual dengan kawan-kawan. I did that!

10. After a while, after things get better, I am grateful sebab Allah guided me when I needed Him the most! 

11. Kepada kawan-kawan, who are about to make big decision in your life, may Allah help you in your life, ameen!